We have a new article! This game was horrible when it first came out and it's even worse today. Taking into mind that it came out in 1990 (ie waaaay past the prime of the NES) goes to show that it was a half-assed effort from the beginning.

So what does Total Recall have to offer us? Well, aside from the fact that it's an 8-bit NES game based off of a R-rated movie, it's got jumping pink midgets that can knock Arnold out (not to mention they have better reach) and the lamest obstacle in gaming history: getting punched through glory holes in a fence. Awesome.

At this point, the Gamescrap logo should make a little more sense and that there was a method to its madness.

Yeah, he'd never lend HIS name to a shoddy product.

Ahhh Sylvester Stallone is faaaaar worse. Did you see the new Rambo movie? Good god.

We need more jumping pink midgets in video games. They'd look so hi-res now... they'd be intimidating! Especially if they were motion-captured for extra midget realism.*

Somewhere in the world there's like ONE midget who's a mo-cap specialist. I say that man needs a job.